What do you do when there is someone in your life who hurts you over and over and over again? And it is not because you are dumb, or naive, and it doesn’t have to do with the fact that you are a pushover. You look at your situation and you keep thinking why does this same bullshit keep happening to me?
Well honey, I am so sorry to tell you that you are responsible for this sort of situation. Because while you cannot change the situation you are in, you can certainly chose your reaction to the situation.
That is the funny thing about karma.
You have this running account happening when you are alive with everyone you meet – this account can be from past lives (if you believe in it), or from this life. You have to settle these debts because hey, you cannot owe anyone anything at the end of the day. And until you don’t realize that this is a debt that needs to be settled, you will not be able to come out of the situation. These debts can come in different forms and can be owed to different individuals – they can come as ideas that need to be broken (debts you owe to yourself), or hearts that you need to mend (debts to individuals), or lessons that you need to learn (debts to society).
For example, you are someone who feels like family is everything and that the family name matters most. Well until you don’t realize that this is not in your control, you will keep facing situations where you cannot be in control of your family or their matters. Eg. You are someone who is hell bent on meeting a certain kind of guy (or controlling your child to be with a certain kind of person). You are so crazy about this “rule” that you will not accept anything else. You go a step further by slaying those that do not agree with your rule (friends, family, strangers), where they become an object of your ridicule. Suddenly, when your child is ready to get married, you see that they have already done so with the kind of guy that you really loathed.
Or in my own life, I have a debt to settle with someone who hasn’t been the kindest to me. Before I would always sit and cry that I was in this situation. It only made it worse, I would pick on the tiniest of details that would bring me down. Until one day, I just said now there is no way I can stop this cycle unless I just say forgive forgive and forgive. I have never been happier and our relationship has never been better – because those little things just don’t matter anymore to me. On the other hand, if I broke the relationship, I guarantee you, there would be another person coming into your life to give you this kind of grief. As far away as you would run from this one person, you would get slapped by a similar situation (maybe not now, but in 5 or 10 or maybe even 20 years).
Coming back to what I was saying, it doesn’t mean I’m a pushover, it just means I cannot go down this cycle of hate, and hey, I don’t want to deal with this for the rest of my life.
So let’s forgive, forget, and be flexible to learn those lessons. It truly is easier than to keep going down the vicious karmic cycle – our time is short here, let’s live it with happiness.