I am who I am, and nothing can change that. We grow up with a certain ideology about life, with certain values, with a set of rules that we would never break for anyone. This rigidity is what defines us… or so we think. This kind of thinking is more self destructive more than anything else.
I know a man, he’s a kind man, a great catch. He has everything you would possibly want in a man. He met a girl, a long time ago, they fell in love. Now, we come into relationships with certain values – if we are hindu, we won’t eat beef, if we are muslim we won’t eat pork, and so on. These set of values are exposed to our partners from the day we meet.
So this guy and girl, they fight endlessly because they just don’t understand what has changed in the last 10 years of them knowing each other. I mean, if we start into a relationship with certain ideas, those ideas may not change, but they may change too right? They were made very clear, but still, there seems to be an element of surprise.
Well, there are some things that will never change about a person – their age, ethnicity, previous life experiences, family, etc. These things are permanent. Those other ideas, well, they will always change. These things are fluid. You can say that you started off with these ideologies about how you were going to be independent, how you weren’t going to ever drive a motorcycle, how you would never degrade yourself and take that job, but when push comes to shove or with time, you CAN change.This is a truth we must all accept.
Unfortunately, we live in a time where if our ideologies change, we are blamed. “This is not who you were, this is not what you used to say, etc. I never thought you could ever do something like this”. We have all heard it. Whether it is from our partners, parents, or friends. We have been questioned at one point.
The only way we can overcome this idea of us not wanting to change is to embrace the fact that we are fluid. Let us be honest, we are made predominantly of fluid, that needs to exude into our character. It is built in. We should be so fluid that whether we are boiled or frozen, we will still exist – whether it be in the form of steam, or ice. We are still there.
We must accept that things will change and people around us will change. We must accept that we will also change. But the only person we will hurt is ourselves if we blame others for changing.